She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
