The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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