This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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