I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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