u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
