it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
and you fell through a lawn chair
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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