so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
