Are we in a gay sports bar?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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