is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
