I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
