Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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