The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
