omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
The Olympian is in my bed
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
