What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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