it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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