He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
