Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
