I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
