Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
