found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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