I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
