its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
