Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
