Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Someone shit on the floor
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
