I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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