Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
