this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
