I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
