My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
