Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
