Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
