I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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