btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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