just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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