Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
