He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
