a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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