the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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