I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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