did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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