Walk of Shame. In a state park.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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