remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She's the barista slut.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
