Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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