I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
