Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
