I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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