He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
