You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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