wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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