no. you can't hotbox the world.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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