how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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