Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
