Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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