I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We don't watch enough power rangers
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize