are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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