Sponge bath it is.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize