The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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