I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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