Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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