OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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