That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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