She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
