I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
