Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize