i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Randomize
