There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
